Learning to express your true feelings is uncomfortable. Especially when you have spent your whole life running from them. You learn to mask the fear in order to hide the pain. Sometimes these fears seem extremely “silly” to others, but very real to those who are suffering.In this picture you see me about to overcome a fear! Again this may seem ridiculous to others but for me it was REAL.
ESCAPE rooms are the new thing, Right?
Not for me… I have never once had the desire to do so. My continuous thought has been “Nope, not me! Not doing one”!
I have these deep seeded fears since I was a child of being kidnapped, raped, tortured. If not careful my mind will follow these fears down dark roads, very vivid. This is when the panic attacks come full force. These fears have kept anxiety right in the shadows, waiting to attack! Keeping me from experiencing life to the fullest. I have walked away from so many opportunities because I have told myself that I can’t do it.
I found that I hate those four words, “I can’t do it”. 2019 really helped me with building up my confidence in ways that I never seen coming.
So, 2020 I chose the most awesome word! Uncomfortable (Be prepared to hear this word come up often in the coming blogs)! I know to grow, to overcome my fears, and succeed in LIFE, I MUST get uncomfortable. This is the year I will tackle my comfort levels by destroying them.
I did just that! Look, that smile might look real and I can’t say that it wasn’t. But, internally that was not how I was feeling. When a panic attack starts for me immediately my body temperature rises and I am ridiculously over heating. Sweating palms and I get this intense pressure behind my ears to where it is hard to hear. I cant seem to gather my thoughts and I’m sure the look in my eyes is scared. It gets really real in just the snap of a finger.
These attacks are less than they use to be because I have learned ways to calm down. Honesty is key for me! When I am open about what i am experiencing in that moment I am letting go. I am allowing someone to help me. For so long I thought if I held it in and kept it to myself that meant I was strong. It meant that I was independent and I did not need your help. I was so wrong.
To push yourself past your fears and limitations is hard and uncomfortable. This is why I must tackle life with another at my side. When I can take a 1/3 for me, give a 1/3 to another person, and give a 1/3 to God. The situation gets easier. The fear becomes less overwhelming.
Working on myself is one of the hardest things I have ever done. It takes a willingness that I never possessed.
So what are you going to work on this year?
Will you choose a word or 2020?
Will you overcome an area that you have ran from?
Will you take 2020 and do something amazing?
Will you share your experience with us so that we can celebrate with you?!
Let’s not do this alone!
Let’s change our lives! NOW is the time!
(Oh, by the way! I enjoyed the escape room! Crazy right??)
Love,
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